Some Thoughts on Letting Go...

The other day I was doing my daily reading in Christine Northrup's, A Daily Dose of Women's Wisdom... a little book with many simple but powerful messages that can help to set the tone for your day and keep you living true

to what matters to you (I know it does for me anyway!). The page I turned to that day though, really caught my attention, It read:  

"Joseph Campbell said that you must first be willing to get rid of the life you had planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you. Remember this when you're having a hard time letting go."

WOW.. hmmm... humbling eh? I have been working on this "clinging" habit personally for some time now and the universe seems to keep sending me repeated messages to reinforce the practice of letting go.

If you are at all in to personal growth, then you've read the quotes and heard the sayings about "letting go" and "jumping in.” You've read Rumi's "Oh drop...," quote and you are familiar with the the concept of "trusting in the process"... or at least a bit familiar anyway=].

The concept of letting go and the need to let go is part of life. Our gripping (I know my gripping for sure!!) is really at the root of all of our distress. When we are gripping, we are refusing to accept that things may change in the future or that things have already changed and are currently not showing up as we want them to be. We grip and hold tight to what we believe is the way things ought to be, and when we do, we suffer. 

A Personal Example...A few months back I was hit with this same revelation while attending a seminar with Landmark International. I was sitting in my seminar and we were going over a distinction that was helping us to look at situations from a place of "possibility" instead of "impossibility". While I was doing the exercise we were instructed to do, I somehow missed the concept. It didn't make sense to me. When the seminar leader had initially explained the exercise, I remembered feeling as if this distinction WAS going to be THE ANSWER to some of the most pressing issues I had been facing at the time... here it was ‘THE ANSWER’ ... and I seemed to have missed it!!

Sooo... I raised my hand and asked the seminar leader to clarify the distinction. But alas, she decided to use me as an example instead of just repeating the instructions =\. She said something to the effect of, "See everyone, just look right here... can you see what's happening?" Then she asked me to just consider staying with my confusion and trying to continue to look from a place of ‘possibility’. I was annoyed to say the least but acquiesced with a sigh and a bit of a grumble.

As I sat there though, diverting eye contact with the seminar leader and staring off to the right of the room to show my displeasure, something began to open up for me. I repeated to myself over and over again, "What's possible now? What's possible now?" and as I did, my body began to soften... and I began to notice that there were other distinctions that the seminar leader was going over that I didn't seem to have my death grip on... hmmm... "I wonder why that is?" I thought, then I realized I didn't believe that my life depended on these other distinctions... and then I realized that if I could let go of my vice grip, that possibly I could ask her again after the seminar was over, or I could listen to the other distinctions and maybe something else would open up, or I could speak to one of the other 50 people in the room at the break... or... who knows... but what I did know was that that ONE thing really wasn't the ANSWER to my life, and that yes, in fact, when I let go, I could live into a new possibility... and yes, I felt a little silly for my diverted eye contact and scowly face =].

Universe Won’t Let You Miss the Message... 

So here I am, a few months later, reading Christine’s book, and being reminded again of the need to leave the shore. What I’ve learned in my 42 years on this planet and over 15 years as a therapist is that, when we are on an awakened path, the universe doesn’t quit on us. It keeps sending us the same message over and over and over again until we get it. I’ve come to learn that this is unavoidable... once we are awake... there’s no fully going back to sleep. We can avoid and deflect and resist andprotest... we can try and hide and cover our eyes and our ears and blame others... but in the end, when we are here and have been called to live an awakened life, then we will continue to be called to do so. 

So be kind to yourself. It’s not a race. I’ve had to learn and practice a ton of self compassion in this process because I can be quite bullheaded myself. As I’ve come to realize that I can’t escape the lessons... it’s gotten easier to let go of my grip and trust in my path and I have no doubt, it will for you as well.